(=moonliteshadow@blogspot.com=)

'I DON'T LOVE U AS MUCH AS B4'

these words which u said kept repeating in my head.. u asked me todae if i stil love u as much.. i reali duno.. i no longer feel e nd for u to b by my side as much as i do last time.. mayb its cos u told me u nd time by ur own.. u do not wish to meet me so often.. so as time pass i'm learing to be more independent.. at e same time i'm also growing apart from u.. finding tings to do to keep myself occupied.. n these stuff will soon take over ur place..

i don noe if my feelings for u r as strong as ever or am i jus suppressing it cos of wad u said.. knowing that u don love me as much as ever.. i don wish to put in so much of my love either.. i don wanna feel foolish like how i did e other dae.. i loved u with all my heart.. yet u told me u din love me as much now.. at tat moment i jus felt stupid.. i tot u loved me as much as i loved u.. yet i was wrong all along..

i duno how would our future be.. but i'm sure i still wanna hold on to ur hand and walk the rest of the bumpy road.. hand in hand..

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8:05 pm

Where are YOU whn my world starts to CRUMBLE n wad i nd most now is YOU..

how i wish u're by my side..
assuring me no matter wad happens u'l protect me..
hold me tight in ur arms..
n keep me safe from harm..
whisper in my ears that everyting would b ok..

11:01 pm

i'm utterly speechless la.. first it was my prob wif andy.. now its prob wif vic.. i admit at first i wasnt happy wif her for doin so little.. but ever since she cried i din sae aniting bad abt her other den amongst our grp.. i DEFINITELY did not tel Esther aniting bad abt vic la.. n now vic wans to give me up as a fren.. i may b stupid but not stupid til go tel esther bad stuff abt vic knowin tat e two of them are close la.. i seriously don usd y did esther hv to lie tat i told her bad stuff abt vic.. i got offend u meh? y must u do tis to me? i noe we're all upset abt wad happen n i usd.. but now all e fingers are pointing to me.. n i'm being seen as a hyprocrate.. yet all wl worries abt is how to do grp wk in future..
after hearing wad she said i reali wanna cry.. yet i cant.. everyting is lik stucked inside me.. how am i goin to face e class in future?? i'm jus seen as e bad guy.. nobody will usd how i feel.. how i wish i can tel u.. but.. u no longer wanna talk to me.. neither do u care wad happens to me..

10:35 pm

life isnt sweet.. because no one in this world is sweet..

nobody can treat u well.. other then your own self..

everyone is selfish.. for there's only space for I..

and not US..

11:02 pm

todae's a sweet dae! haha.. finally my dad started to talk to me le.. i'm back tgt wif dar.. n i'm sure everyting is jus gonna b super sweet for us! wahahaha..
cant believe 2 more wks n dear's gonna start sch le.. kinda worried act.. not worried tt he won hv time to pei me but worried tat he'l fall for sm other gal in uni.. esp now dat our rls isnt tt stable.. n dear's not happy wif me.. super worried la.. haiz.. i'm not confident tat he loves me 100% now.. not lik last time where i hv no doubts he truly loves me 100%.. 100% as in he reali loves n wanna b wif me.. n not tink tt we won hv a future tgt n tat we may not wk out cos of all e diff we hv.. i noe we hv many diff but no two ppl are e same wad.. opposites attract wad.. onli whn u're diff tats y u would get attracted to each other.. tats y there's tis saying u 'U COMPLETE ME'.. jus like a jigsaw puzzle, no two pieces are the same there can onli b identical ones or completely different ones.. onli den can u fix all e pieces tgt to complete a nice picture.. imagine if all e pieces are tgt.. how are u gonna connect the pieces tgt? we should learn to complement each other.. accept each other's diff n blend into one.. n not jus cos we're diff n take tat as an excuse to break..

~~~~~~~

went clubbin on fri! super fun la.. hahaha.. reali glad jiebin could make it.. was super worried whn i couldnt contact her.. all sorts of weird reasons started to fill my head.. tot she wasnt comin anm.. but thank god she made it finally.. hehe.. we both had fun n now i got her addicted to clubbin le.. she even took e initiative to ask me to go on 1st aug.. haha.. clubbin rocks! =)

7:37 pm

i hang up the phone in tears.. yet u din even bother to try n comfort me.. went to bathe to calm myself down n onli saw one miss call from u.. am i tt unimportant to u? whn i'm act sad n crying u din try to comfort me n onli tried to cal me once n whn i din pick up u din even bother to try callin again.. shldnt ur heart ache knowin that i am crying? or u no longer feel aniting for me? even if i get hurt u don feel e slightest pain..

i stil love u.. stil wanna b wif u.. but i cant c any reason for me to continue loving u.. even if u din take any actions to do smth for me at least by intending to do it is better den nth rite? for as long as u hv e heart tats enuf.. its not tt i' demandin.. is that u din even tink of doin anitng for me.. u jus sit dere doin nth hoping for a miracle to happen.. do u wanna wait til i'm utterly disappointed in u b4 u wanna try to do aniting? by den it wld alr be too late to make amendments..

I'M TRULY DISAPPOINTED..

11:07 am

i'm sooo super BORED!! dear's at a wedding dinner.. n i cant go.. oh well.. i don wish to go either.. tink its reali stupid for his parents to quarrel over me.. his dad wants me to go for e dinner while his mom doesnt wan.. i don lik his mom for being to old fashioned yet i cant help but agree wif her that its better that i do not go.. of cos i would love to spend time wif dear n go to e dinner wif him but it doesnt seem v appropriate.. i don usd y his dad wans me to go anw.. isit reali cos of e huge hong bao figure or there an ulterior motive?? lol.. weird la.. smtimes its hard to usd wad they're tinkin.. jus hope his mom won hate me cos of wad happened todae.. even if she doesnt its oso ok la.. aftall who nds her to lik me.. i'm not marrying her.. i'm marryin her son regardless she likes it or not.. i'm marrying ANDY n tats final! wahahahaha..

dear super nice n reasonable nowadays.. n he's changing for MY SAKE! hehe.. i'm loving him more n more each day.. jus cant get enuf of him.. hehe.. i love e freedom n trust he's givin me.. yet i'm afraid by giving me all e freedomn n trust wld mean tt i'm slowing losing him.. i'm afraid he's act not happy yet choose not so voice out.. i don wan him to keep tings inside.. or sooner or later our rls is gonna turn sour.. jus hope he reali don mind givin me extra freedom now..

dear jus wanna let u noe now matter how much freedom u give me n no matter how far away i fly i'l always come back into ur arms.. in ur arms i'm filled with warmth n i noe that no matter wad happens u'l b there to keep me safe from harm..

i still wan to take ur hands in mine, and hold it so very tightly.
feel the warmth of your body heating mine when we hug each other to sleep.
at the end of the day, even when we nv meet, i wan to come home with u in my thoughts.
knowing that you are, at wherever you are, thinking of me too.
u complete me. u're e air that i breath.
my love for you would continue to burn stongly.
n its never gonna stop burning, it'l burn for eternity.

10:56 pm

feel so xin fu to hv dear dear wif me.. he's e best!!! he's all tt i wan all tt i need.. i'm not gonna let my dear down.. n shall b a gd gal from now on.. hehe.. for he's my one n onli love!! *muackZ muackZ* =]

12:16 am

life sucks.. life is boring.. sat n i'm jus staying home n bloggin.. duno wad e hell is wrong wif our rls.. duno wad to do.. caring too much doesnt seem rite.. nt caring isnt an option either.. so wad am i do to?? u always jus make decisions on ur own without sparing a tot for me.. u nv tink of me whn u plan ur stuff to do.. onli aft plannin den u jus INFORM me.. i tot i shld b part of ur life.. not outta ur life.. shldnt i b constantly on ur mind n wadeva u do u shld tink of me first? but i'm totally not part of ur life la.. wadeva u wanna do u jus go ahead to do.. den wad abt me?
since i'm not part of ur life n u don always don consider me first den i don tink i shld not bother abt u either.. u make me feel sick.. i don even feel lik meeting u.. though i would lik to get outta e hse but i don wish to meet u.. cos i noe meeting u wld jus make me more pissed.. now i'l still pissed.. but as time passes i tink i would be numb to all these.. n tats e time whn i would no longer care abt u.. y should i b so silly n care so much whn u jus don care n make myself miserable.. u don usd y i'm actin lidat.. u jus tink i'm being unreasonable.. u nv usd.. guess i'm not gonna care anm.. u wanna do wad u go ahead.. i'm tired of caring..

1:05 pm

e movie TRANSFORMERS is awesome manz! reali exciting!! but dear said it was ok onli.. wad a letdown.. haha.. he's always so stingy wif his comments.. onli noe how to sae ok.. his ok means good.. onli whn it comes to pretty gal den wld he sae its great.. haiz.. y r all guys lidat.. everyting else is ok except pretty gals.. even i am considered ok.. lalalala.. sian diao..
plaza sing was packed wif ppl.. restaurants where fullhouse.. stil tot aft e increase in GST many ppl wld patronize restaurants less.. but to my surprise there were lotsa ppl n i act had to wait up to 30 min to get seats.. plus its a monday!!! wad is wrong wif those ppl manz.. in e end we ended up eating mos burger.. der goes our $30 bucks.. haha.. tink stil left abt $15 ba.. gonna use e money to get smth useful for dear dear.. hehe.. i don mind spending e money on him.. all i ask is for him to treat me better n not b so unreasonable n more understanding.. yup.. smtimes i wish i din care abt him so much n jus take tings easily.. but i jus cant ignore him n jus pretend nth happened.. tt won b me.. n if one day i bcome lidat means i totally hv no hope for our rls le.. cant even b bothered to get angry.. getting angry at him means i cared wad.. if not i won b angry.. i don get angry at ani tom dick or harry ok.. haha..
well gtg le.. dear's asking me to go study.. ciao! =D

10:46 pm

sch hols gonna end soon.. haiz.. i'l hv to wake up early every morning again.. sucks manz.. last dae of my hol yet i'm jus slackin at home.. wad a waste of my precious holiday! lol..

yst was more happening for me.. first stop was to queue for tau sa pia at balestier.. if was lik queuing for donuts jus tt the queuing time was shorter.. it took us half an hour.. but it was definitely worth it.. one hour later e biscuit was stil hot n crispy.. yum!! =)

nx stop was to tis club hse at toapayoh.. first time i stepped into a local jackpot room.. haha.. was so blur la.. din even noe how to play.. my bf's dad jus told me to insert e $1 coin into e machine n press e button which saes 5 rows.. means at wadeva row we hit e jackpot we wld b able to win.. if only press one row den if e jackpot at row 5 den no money.. so cheat rite? lol.. n to my surprise we won a total of $110!!! so unexpected manz!! haha.. cool sia.. dear's dad took $60 n we gt $50.. though not alot but alr not bad la.. consider e fact tt i came out wif only 2 bucks n now i hv additional $25 bucks in my wallet.. wahahaha.. i'm lucky!!! if i hv alot of money den i'l come everydae to play den i'l gow rich!! haha.. but tis kinda ting v xie men one.. if u keep goin den u'l lose money.. hahaha..

aft tt we went to e AMK HUB.. bigger den expected n its has shops lik mondo.. 77th street and sm other rather fashionble brands.. so in future i won hv to travel all e way to town to get stuff.. plus they hv a cinema dere.. i especially lik tis cafe called nebo located on e highest level of the shopping mall.. u get to eat and play games at e same time.. not bad rite.. dear n me played uno, upwords n lots more.. upwords was e suckiest.. we could only manage to make a few words.. super toot la.. oh n i took dear's pic.. dear looks SUPER CUTE when he's serious n deep in thought.. love him lots!!

5:08 pm

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